Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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