i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Cover your peen. We're going out.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
