ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
