R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize