im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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