mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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