where am i from again
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
