I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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