brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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