he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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