I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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