Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had sex on a dog bed..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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