i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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