Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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