now i know why i became what i already was.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
