so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Randomize
