Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
