Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize