who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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