I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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