taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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