Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize