Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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