last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
