We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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