take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
