You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
