oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
