Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
