just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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