I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
