Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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