You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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