i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
