The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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