You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your cock deserves a montage
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You are the jesus of drinking
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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