I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
