what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
