guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
