Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
