You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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