I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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