I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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