Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
