I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
