dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
