you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
