you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
