I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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