I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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