masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
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How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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