We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
