so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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