the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
