Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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