nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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