dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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