you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
