I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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