The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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