So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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