Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
