FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
