Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
